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How a Greek Orthodox wedding works, from the rings and stefana crowns to the common cup and Dance of Isaiah, plus the koumbaros's role and koufeta almonds.
A Greek Orthodox wedding has two parts: the betrothal, where rings are blessed and exchanged, and the crowning, where the couple wear joined crowns called stefana, share a common cup and are led three times around the altar in the Dance of Isaiah. The koumbaros or koumbara, the couple's sponsor, exchanges the rings and crowns and must be an Orthodox Christian. At the reception, guests traditionally receive koufeta, sugared almonds. There are no spoken vows in the Orthodox service.
Parts of a Greek Orthodox wedding: Betrothal, The priest blesses the rings; the sponsor exchanges them three times, Two lives intertwined; Candles, The couple hold lit candles, Willingness to receive the light of Christ; Crowning, Stefana placed on the couple and exchanged three times, King and queen of a new home; Readings, Two New Testament readings, Scripture at the heart of marriage; Common cup, The couple drink from one cup three times, Sharing every joy and sorrow; Dance of Isaiah, The priest leads the couple around the altar table, Beginning married life together, centred on faith.
The service begins at the back of the church or at the front, depending on the parish. The priest blesses the rings three times, naming the couple, and the sponsor then exchanges the rings three times between the couple's right hands. The repeated number three, in the rings, the crowns and the cup, refers to the Holy Trinity.
The stefana are two crowns, often thin circlets of flowers, metal or pearls, joined by a ribbon. The priest places them on the couple's heads and the koumbaros exchanges them over their heads three times. According to Zoodohos Peghe, they symbolise the couple becoming king and queen of their own kingdom, the home.
The koumbaros (male) or koumbara (female) is more than a best man or maid of honour: they take an active part in the sacrament. Parishes set their own rules, but Zoodohos Peghe requires that the sponsor be an Orthodox Christian and, if married, married in the Orthodox Church. Check your own parish's requirements before you ask someone.
After the readings, the couple drink wine from a common cup three times, a sign they will share whatever life brings. The priest then leads them, with the koumbaros following, three times around the altar table. This procession is called the Dance of Isaiah after the first hymn sung during it. In some communities guests throw rice or petals during this moment; ask your priest whether that's allowed in your church.
The church calendar limits wedding dates. Zoodohos Peghe lists no weddings on major feast days, during Great Lent and Holy Week, from 1 to 15 August, or from 13 to 25 December. Rules differ a little between parishes and jurisdictions, so confirm your date with the church before you book a venue. The what to book first guide explains why.
Koufeta are white sugar-coated almonds given to guests, usually wrapped in tulle or in small boxes called bombonieres. They are commonly grouped in fives for happiness, health, longevity, wealth and fertility. Many Greek families insist on an odd number, so the couple, like the number, can't be divided. Italian families share a very similar custom; see Italian wedding traditions.
Greek receptions are known for dancing, often including circle dances such as the kalamatianos, and in some families guests pin money on the couple or throw it as they dance. Customs vary by region and between Greece, Cyprus and the diaspora, so ask the older generation what your families expect.
No spoken vows are exchanged in the traditional service. The couple's consent and commitment are expressed through the rites themselves: the rings, crowns, common cup and procession.
Requirements are set by the parish, but typically the sponsor must be an Orthodox Christian in good standing and, if married, married in the Orthodox Church. Check with your priest.
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