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How Jewish-Christian couples plan an interfaith wedding: finding officiants, blending the chuppah, ketubah and vows, choosing a date, food and helping guests follow.
A Jewish and Christian interfaith wedding usually starts with finding the right officiants, since some rabbis and clergy won't officiate interfaith ceremonies and others will co-officiate. Most couples then build one ceremony that borrows from both: a chuppah, an interfaith ketubah, the seven blessings, readings from both traditions, vows and the breaking of the glass. Pick a date that avoids Shabbat and major holidays, agree on food rules, and explain each ritual so both families feel at home.
Interfaith marriage is common among American Jews. Pew Research Center's Jewish Americans in 2020 survey found that 61% of Jewish respondents who married between 2010 and 2020 had a non-Jewish spouse, and 72% among non-Orthodox Jews. Rabbis, cantors and ministers who work with interfaith couples are much easier to find than they once were.
Where Jewish movements generally stand on officiating: Orthodox, Rabbis do not officiate; Conservative, Rabbis do not officiate; Reform, Many rabbis will, some with conditions; Reconstructionist and Renewal, Many rabbis will.
The Union for Reform Judaism's list of rituals you may see at a Jewish wedding is a good starting point. Rituals interfaith couples often keep:
Jewish weddings are traditionally not held on Shabbat (from Friday sundown to Saturday nightfall) or on major Jewish holidays, and some periods, such as parts of the Omer and the Three Weeks, are traditionally avoided, as Chabad's guide to wedding dates explains. Observance varies, so ask your rabbi. On the Christian side, some churches limit weddings in Lent or Advent. A Saturday evening after dark or a Sunday wedding often works for both families.
If any guests keep kosher, ask your caterer about kosher or kosher-style options, and avoid pork and shellfish at minimum. Label dishes clearly. Wine features in both traditions, so a toast is rarely controversial. Multicultural wedding food ideas has menus that work across families.
The hora, where the couple are lifted on chairs, is often the highlight, and it sits comfortably next to a first dance, toasts and a cake cutting. Music for a multicultural wedding covers mixing the playlist, and Jewish wedding traditions explained for guests is a good link for Christian relatives.
A printed or online program with one line per ritual helps everyone follow. Explain the chuppah, ketubah, glass and any Christian readings in plain words; how to explain cultural traditions to wedding guests has example wording. Forever Farrah can keep your guest list, RSVPs, meal choices and seating chart together, which helps if some guests need kosher-style meals.
Many officiants will ask how you plan to mark holidays and raise any children. You don't need every answer before the wedding, but talking about it early makes the planning conversations with your families easier. How to handle family expectations for your wedding can help when parents have strong views.
Many Reform, Reconstructionist and Renewal rabbis will. Orthodox and Conservative rabbis do not officiate interfaith weddings.
Yes, if both agree to co-officiate. Some rabbis who officiate interfaith weddings won't co-officiate, so ask early.
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