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Who should get a plus-one at a wedding, the rules that keep it fair, how to word invitations so it's clear, and what to say when a guest asks for one.
Give a plus-one to every guest who is married, engaged or living with a partner, and invite that partner by name. Beyond that, plus-ones are your choice. A common fair rule is to also give one to guests who won't know anyone else and to anyone in the wedding party. Make it clear on the envelope and the RSVP exactly who is invited, and answer requests with the rule rather than the person.
Plus-one guidelines by guest: Married, engaged or living together, Yes, always, Invite the partner by name, not as "guest"; In a long-term relationship, Usually, Many couples set a line such as "together a year"; In the wedding party, Recommended, They're giving you the whole day; Won't know anyone else, Recommended, Being alone at a wedding is hard; Single, knows plenty of guests, Optional, The most common place to save seats; Children, Not a plus-one question, Decide separately and say so on the invitation.
A plus-one is the host's offer, not the guest's to claim. Most guests know that, so a polite, consistent no is expected rather than offensive. Some people will still ask, which is why having a rule ready matters more than getting the answer perfect.
Name everyone who is invited on the envelope and the RSVP: "Ms. Jordan Lee and Mr. Sam Park", or "Jordan Lee and Guest" if you're offering an unnamed plus-one. An invitation addressed to one person means one person. Most guests read it that way, but not all. Put a seat count on the RSVP: "We have reserved 1 seat in your honor." It's the single clearest way to say it. Say it on your wedding website FAQ too, in a friendly way: "Due to space, we can only accommodate guests named on your invitation."
Keep it short, warm and about the rule:
It happens. On the day, don't turn them away or make a scene. Have the venue add a chair if they can, and let one trusted person handle it so you don't have to. Afterwards, there's nothing to say unless the guest raises it.
Every plus-one is a meal, a chair and a place in the seating chart, and unnamed guests are the hardest to seat and the hardest to write escort cards for. Ask guests who have a plus-one for the name when they RSVP. In Forever Farrah's RSVP form, a guest with a plus-one adds their guest's name when they reply, so you can seat and cater for them properly.
Only to guests who are married, engaged or living with a partner. Beyond that it's your choice, but apply the same rule to everyone.
Usually, yes. The invitation says who is invited, so asking puts the couple in an awkward spot. The exception is a real change since the invitations went out, such as a guest who has since got engaged or moved in with a partner.
Address the invitation to the invited guests by name, and put the number of reserved seats on the RSVP card or form.
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