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By Forever Farrah Published 2026-09-12.
A day-by-day plan for chasing late RSVPs, the exact messages to send by text, email and phone, and when to stop waiting and count someone as not coming.
Wait two or three days after your RSVP deadline, then contact everyone who hasn't replied with a short, friendly message that asks for a yes or no by a specific date. Anyone still silent after a second, more direct message gets a phone call. If the caterer's final count is due and you still have no answer, count that guest as not attending and tell them so, kindly, in writing.
Almost nobody ignores an RSVP on purpose. The invitation got buried, they replied to you in a text and assumed that counted, one partner thought the other had done it, or they are waiting to hear about time off work. Knowing that sets the tone: your follow-up is a reminder, not an accusation.
| When | What to do | Channel |
|---|---|---|
| Deadline + 2 days | Friendly reminder to everyone still awaiting a reply | Text or email |
| Deadline + 5 days | Second message, with a firm "by" date | Text, and ask a mutual friend or family member to nudge |
| Deadline + 7 days | Phone call | Phone |
| When the caterer needs numbers | Count them as not attending and let them know | Text or email |
The plan only works if it finishes before your caterer needs final numbers, so ask the caterer for that date first and set your RSVP deadline about ten days before it. The calculator below works out every date from your wedding day.
When to send save-the-dates, invitations and RSVP reminders
First reminder (friendly):
Hi Sam! We're finalising numbers for the wedding on June 14 and haven't seen your RSVP yet. Could you let us know by Friday whether you can make it? You can reply here or use the link on our website.
Second reminder (firm, still warm):
Hi Sam, just checking in again about June 14. We need to give the venue our final numbers on Monday, so could you let us know by Sunday? We'd love to have you there.
Counting them as not attending:
Hi Sam, as we didn't hear back we've given the venue our final numbers without you. We're sorry you can't make it. If anything changes, let us know as soon as possible and we'll see what we can do.
The last message is not a punishment. It is a clear record that you asked, and it gives them one more chance to reply before it is truly too late.
Once numbers are final, a late yes is up to your venue and caterer. Ask before you promise anything. If a seat is available, add them. If not, a warm and honest reply is enough: "We'd love to have you, but our numbers are locked with the venue. We'll be thinking of you."
It happens at most weddings and there is little to do about it after the fact. What helps beforehand is a quick "can't wait to see you on Saturday" message to confirmed guests in the final week, which prompts anyone whose plans have changed to say so while you can still adjust the seating chart.
Two or three days. It gives late replies already on their way time to arrive, while leaving room for a second reminder and a phone call before the caterer needs final numbers.
No. Guests expect it, and most are grateful for the reminder. Keep the first message short and friendly and give a clear date to reply by.
After two reminders and a call, count them as not attending and let them know in writing. Seat and cater for the guests who replied.
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