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Where a stepmother or stepfather sits at the ceremony and reception, how to include them without upsetting a parent, and what to do when a stepparent raised you.
A stepparent sits with the parent they are married to. At the ceremony that means whichever row that parent is in, and at the reception it means that parent's table. The exception is a stepparent who raised you: they belong in the front row and at a parents' table in their own right, whatever the traditional order says.
Traditional etiquette gives the front row to the parent who raised you and their spouse, and seats the other parent and their spouse a row or two behind (see where divorced parents sit for the full set of situations). A stepparent simply goes where their partner goes.
Put a stepparent at their partner's table. Seating them anywhere else, even at a "better" table, separates a couple on a day built around couples, and it reads as a comment on the marriage.
The traditional order is built for a family where the biological parents did the raising. If your stepfather is the person who taught you to drive, he is not a guest in the third row. Seat him in the front row with your mother. If he walks you down the aisle, that is your decision to make, and it helps to tell your father yourself and early, before he hears it from somebody else.
Name them in the program alongside their spouse: "Karen and David Lee, father and stepmother of the bride." Give them a job: a reading, handing out programs, lighting a candle. Include them in family photos, and also take a set with each biological parent alone. Both sets are easy to take, and both mean something. Talk to the parent who might mind before the day, not during it. Most hurt at weddings comes from surprise, not from the arrangement itself.
She sits with her husband. If your father is in the front row, so is she. If your father sits further back, she sits with him there.
Only if parents sit at your head table, in which case they sit beside their spouse. Most head tables seat the wedding party rather than parents.
No, but seat them with their spouse whatever you decide. A stepparent seated apart from their partner is noticed by everyone.
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