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By Forever Farrah Published 2026-09-17.
What the ketubah, chuppah, bedeken, circling, breaking the glass and the hora mean, plus what to wear and give as a guest at a Jewish wedding.
A Jewish wedding usually includes a signed marriage contract (the ketubah), a ceremony under a canopy (the chuppah), blessings over wine, and a glass broken underfoot, after which everyone shouts "mazel tov". Many weddings also include the veiling of the bride (bedeken), the bride circling the groom, a few private minutes for the couple (yichud) and energetic circle dancing (the hora). Which of these you see depends on the couple, their community and how observant they are, so treat this guide as a map, not a script.
At more traditional weddings the invitation may show two times. According to My Jewish Learning's guide for guests, the first is usually the kabbalat panim (the reception before the ceremony, when guests greet the couple) and the second is when the ceremony itself starts. Arriving for the first time lets you see the bedeken and the ketubah signing, which are often among the most moving parts of the day. If there is only one time, arrive a little early as you would for any wedding.
| Term | What it is | When it happens |
|---|---|---|
| Ketubah | The marriage contract, signed by witnesses | Before the ceremony |
| Bedeken | The groom lowers the bride's veil | Before the ceremony |
| Chuppah | The canopy the couple stands under | The ceremony |
| Circling | The bride walks around the groom, often seven times | Start of the ceremony |
| Breaking the glass | A wrapped glass is stepped on | End of the ceremony, in many communities |
| Yichud | A few private minutes for the couple | Straight after the ceremony |
| Hora | Circle dancing, often with the couple lifted on chairs | The reception |
The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract. It sets out commitments made in the marriage and is signed by witnesses before the ceremony. Many couples commission a decorated ketubah and hang it at home afterwards. At some weddings the signing is a small gathering of family and witnesses; at more liberal weddings, My Jewish Learning notes, all the guests may be present for it.
In the bedeken, the groom lowers the veil over the bride's face. The custom is traditionally linked to the biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel because he couldn't see her face; by veiling the bride himself, the groom sees who he is marrying. Some couples skip it or adapt it.
The chuppah is a canopy, often a cloth or prayer shawl held up on four poles, under which the ceremony takes place. It's commonly described as a symbol of the home the couple will build together. It can be indoors or outdoors, simple or covered in flowers.
In many Ashkenazi communities the bride circles the groom under the chuppah, usually three or seven times. Chabad.org explains several meanings given for the custom, including an echo of the walls of Jericho falling after being circled seven times. Some couples, particularly in more liberal communities, circle each other instead, or leave the custom out.
The ceremony includes blessings over wine and the sheva brachot, the seven blessings, which guests who know the melodies sometimes sing along with. At the end, in many communities, the groom steps on a glass wrapped in cloth. My Jewish Learning describes the breaking as a way of remembering pain and loss even at the happiest moment. The timing differs between communities, and at some weddings both partners break a glass. When you hear it break, that's your cue to shout "mazel tov", which means roughly "congratulations".
Right after the ceremony, the couple usually spends a few minutes alone in a private room. This is yichud, a pause for the two of them before the party. Guests don't need to do anything except give them their moment, and expect a short wait before the couple joins the reception.
At the reception expect lively circle dancing, often to "Hava Nagila" or other Jewish songs, with the couple lifted up on chairs. Join the circle if you'd like to; nobody minds if you don't know the steps. At some weddings guests also bring props or perform playful routines to entertain the couple while they dance.
Jewish practice varies widely, and the same word can describe quite different weddings. As a broad guide:
If you're unsure what to expect, look at the invitation and the venue, or quietly ask someone close to the couple. Asking is always better than guessing.
Dress for the formality on the invitation, then add modesty if the wedding is traditional. My Jewish Learning suggests that at traditional weddings women wear skirts or dresses that fall below the knee, with shoulders and elbows covered. At Reform weddings, ordinary wedding guest clothing is normally fine. If you're unsure what the dress code wording means, see what black tie means at a wedding.
Men are usually asked to cover their heads during the ceremony with a kippah (also called a yarmulke), a small cap. You don't need to be Jewish to wear one, and they're often provided at the entrance. At many liberal weddings women may wear one too if they wish. Wearing one is a sign of respect, not a statement of belief.
Cash, a cheque or something from the couple's registry are all normal. A common Jewish custom is to give amounts in multiples of 18. Reform Judaism explains that 18 is the numerical value of chai, the Hebrew word for "life", so a gift of 18, 36, 54 or 180 carries a small wish for a good life. It's a nice touch, not a rule.
If you're the couple rather than the guest, a wedding website is a simple place to explain your traditions before the day, and Forever Farrah lets you build one alongside your guest list, RSVPs and seating chart.
Seating a multicultural guest list? See how Matchmaker seats families together automatically.
It's customary for men to cover their heads during the ceremony, and non-Jewish guests are welcome to wear a kippah as a sign of respect. They're usually provided at the entrance.
In many communities the breaking of the glass marks the end of the ceremony, and "mazel tov" means congratulations. It's the moment the celebration starts.
Give what you would for any wedding you attend. Many people choose an amount in a multiple of 18, because 18 represents chai, meaning "life", but it's a custom, not an expectation.
Only at some weddings, mainly Orthodox ones. At most Reform and many Conservative weddings everyone sits and dances together.
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