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What padrinos do, how the lazo and the 13 arras coins work in a Catholic ceremony, and what a tornaboda is, with tips for planning a Mexican wedding today.
The best-known Mexican wedding traditions are the padrinos, sponsors who each take on part of the wedding; el lazo, a cord or rosary placed around the couple during the ceremony; las arras, 13 coins blessed and handed between the couple; and the tornaboda, a smaller party after the main celebration. The lazo and arras come from Catholic ceremonies, and US Catholic bishops approved both as options in the English and Spanish marriage rites. How each is done varies by region, parish and family.
Mexican wedding traditions and what they mean: Padrinos and madrinas, Sponsors who give or pay for a specific element and are honoured in the ceremony, Chosen during planning; El lazo, A cord, rosary or garland placed around the couple's shoulders, During the ceremony, before the nuptial blessing; Las arras, 13 coins blessed and passed between the couple, During the ceremony; The reception, A long party with food, music and dancing, often late into the night, After the ceremony; La tornaboda, A smaller, relaxed gathering for family and close friends, After the reception, often the next day.
Padrinos and madrinas are the heart of a traditional Mexican wedding. Rather than one best man and one maid of honour, a couple may ask several people or married couples to sponsor a part of the day. The Diocese of Des Moines' liturgy guidelines describe the arras as gifted by the wedding godparents, and the lazo as usually given by padrinos de lazo, a married couple the new spouses choose as role models for marriage.
The lazo is a large cord, often a double rosary, a silk rope or a flower garland, placed around the couple's shoulders in a loop, usually in a figure of eight. It symbolises the two being joined for life. The Des Moines guidelines note that if included, it takes place before the nuptial blessing.
The arras are thirteen coins, often in a decorated box or pouch, which the priest blesses and the couple pass to one another. The number is commonly explained as Jesus and the twelve apostles, or as the twelve months of the year plus one for the poor. The exchange is traditionally read as a promise to provide for the family and trust in each other; many couples today frame it as a shared commitment to care for their home together. The custom is also used in Spain, other Latin American countries and the Philippines.
Mexican wedding receptions are known for going late. A Mexico News Daily writer describing his own wedding in Mexico recalled a party that ran well past 2 a.m., with food served in waves long after dinner and extended family, from children to grandmothers, on the dance floor. Customs you may also see include mariachi, a snake-like line dance called la víbora de la mar, and a money dance, though these vary widely by region and family.
A tornaboda (roughly "wedding return") is a smaller, relaxed gathering after the main reception, often the next day and often at a family home, for close family, padrinos and friends. The Mexico News Daily writer describes it as a casual day-after gathering where guests reconnect over food. It's also a chance for the two families to actually talk, after a night that was too loud for it.
Decide which traditions matter to you. Few couples do every custom. Ask parents and grandparents which ones carry the most meaning in your family. Plan for two ceremonies if needed. In Mexico, only a marriage performed by a civil registry official is legally valid, as the US Embassy in Mexico explains, so many couples have both a civil and a church wedding. The why some cultures have multiple wedding ceremonies guide explains how couples handle this. Blend thoughtfully. In a multicultural wedding, a short programme note explaining the lazo and arras helps guests enjoy them. Keep track of who's doing what. With several padrinos, a guest list that records each sponsor's role saves last-minute confusion. Forever Farrah lets you keep that list, collect RSVPs and meal choices, and build the seating chart in one place.
It depends on the family. Padrinos traditionally give or sponsor a specific item, such as the lazo, the arras, the rings, the Bible and rosary, the cake or the music. Ask each person for one clear thing, and never assume.
Usually the padrinos de lazo, a married couple chosen as marriage role models, place it around the couple's shoulders during the ceremony and remove it at the end.
The 13 coins are commonly explained as representing Jesus and the twelve apostles, or the twelve months of the year plus one for the poor.
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