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Georgian tamadas, Japanese sake sipped three times three, the Scottish quaich, Arabic coffee and Western champagne toasts. How the world drinks to a new marriage.
Almost every culture marks a wedding with a shared drink, but the rituals differ. In the US and Britain, guests raise champagne while the best man and others give toasts. In Georgia, a toastmaster called a tamada leads a long series of toasts at the feast. Japanese Shinto couples sip sake from three cups, three times each. Scottish couples share whisky from a two-handled quaich. And in many Arab homes, the welcome drink is small cups of coffee rather than alcohol. Customs vary by family, region and faith.
Wedding drinks and toasts by culture: US, UK and much of the West, Speeches and raised glasses at the reception, Champagne or sparkling wine, or a non-alcoholic alternative; Georgia, A tamada leads a sequence of toasts at the supra feast, Wine; Japan, San-san-kudo, three sips from each of three cups, Sake; Scotland, The couple share a drink from a two-handled quaich, Usually whisky; Arab world, Coffee poured for guests in small cups, Arabic coffee, often with dates.
A toast is simply drinking in someone's honour. The word probably comes from a custom of flavouring drinks with spiced toast, and became tied to the ritual in the 17th century. The same source lists how people say "cheers" in dozens of languages, from the Irish sláinte, meaning health, to the Mandarin ganbei, meaning "empty the glass".
In American and British weddings, toasts are part of the reception programme. The Emily Post Institute lists the traditional speakers as the couple, both fathers, the best man, the maid or matron of honour and anyone hosting a party for the couple, and says the best man traditionally makes the first reception toast once everyone has a glass of champagne or a non-alcoholic alternative. A few etiquette points hold widely:
A Georgian feast, the supra, is run by a tamada, or toastmaster, who proposes a long series of toasts over the meal and decides who speaks and when. Supras happen for everything from dinners with friends to weddings and funerals. At a wedding, the tamada is often a respected relative or friend known for eloquence. Guests generally drink only when a toast is made, not between them.
In a Shinto wedding, the couple share sake in the san-san-kudo ritual: three cups, poured three times, swallowed in three sips. The groom drinks first from the smallest cup, then the bride. The order reverses for the second cup and returns for the third. Interpretations vary, from sharing joys and sorrows to the bond between the couple and their families. Japan's government publication Highlighting Japan describes sake's wider role in traditional rituals. For guest etiquette at a Japanese reception, see Japanese wedding etiquette for guests.
The quaich is a shallow two-handled cup. Argyll and Bute Council's registration service describes a quaich ceremony taking place once the marriage schedule is signed, with the cup usually filled with whisky, though couples can choose another drink. It draws on an old custom of two families or clans sharing a drink to mark a bond. The two handles mean the cup is offered and received with both hands.
In many Arab households the drink of welcome is coffee. Arabic coffee is recognised by UNESCO and appears at weddings to welcome guests, traditionally poured in small cups moving around the room in order of age and status, and typically served with dates. Many Muslim families do not serve alcohol at all, so toasts, where they happen, are made with juice or soft drinks. Middle Eastern wedding food covers the rest of the table.
Decide the toast list early. Tell speakers how long they have and when they will speak. Emily Post's list of traditional speakers is a starting point, not a rule.
In American etiquette the best man traditionally gives the first reception toast, according to the Emily Post Institute. Many couples now choose whoever suits them best.
No. The person being honoured traditionally does not drink during their own toast. They can thank the speaker and raise a toast in return.
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