What does a destination wedding weekend look like?

A typical destination wedding weekend, day by day: arrivals, welcome drinks, rehearsal dinner, the wedding, and the farewell brunch, plus who is invited to each.

The short answer

A typical destination wedding weekend runs over three or four days: guests arrive on Thursday or Friday, there's a relaxed welcome event the first evening, a rehearsal dinner for the wedding party and family the night before, the wedding itself on Saturday, and a farewell brunch on Sunday morning before people fly home. Everything is optional except the wedding. The extra events exist because guests have travelled a long way, and a single evening can feel like a lot of effort for a few hours.

A sample schedule

A typical destination wedding weekend: Thursday, Couple and close family arrive; final vendor meetings, Couple, family; Friday daytime, Guests arrive; optional group activity, Anyone who has arrived; Friday evening, Rehearsal, then rehearsal dinner, Wedding party, family, officiant; sometimes all guests; Friday late, Welcome drinks (or held on Thursday), All guests; Saturday, Free morning; ceremony and reception, All guests; Sunday morning, Farewell brunch, Usually all guests; Sunday onwards, Guests leave; couple may stay on, .

Arrival day

Most guests arrive a day or two before. Make it easy:

The welcome event

The welcome event is the easiest win of the weekend. It's usually informal: drinks on a terrace, a beach barbecue, pizza in a courtyard. Guests meet each other before the wedding, so the reception starts with friends instead of strangers. Keep it short and relaxed; many guests will be jet lagged.

The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal is a run-through of the ceremony for the people in it. The dinner afterwards is traditionally for a smaller group. The Emily Post Institute says it generally takes place the evening before the wedding, and that it is customary, though not obligatory, for the groom's family to host. The core guest list is the wedding party and their partners, the officiant, parents, grandparents and siblings, and it notes out-of-town guests may also be included. At a destination wedding, where everyone is an out-of-town guest, many couples fold the rehearsal dinner into the welcome event for all.

Wedding day

Leave the morning free. Guests will want to explore, and you'll want time to get ready without rushing. For the day itself:

The farewell brunch

A relaxed breakfast or brunch the morning after gives everyone a chance to say goodbye. Emily Post lists a post-wedding brunch as one of the best times to entertain out-of-town guests. Schedule it late enough for people to recover and early enough for those with midday flights, and make it drop-in so nobody feels obliged to stay.

Optional group activities

Many couples add one activity: a boat trip, a food or wine tasting, a hike, a walking tour, a beach afternoon. Keep them optional and say who pays. By etiquette, guests pay their own travel and lodging, as Emily Post notes, but if you invite people to an event, it's fair for them to expect you to host it. If an activity is pay-your-own-way, say so clearly on the invitation or website.

Who pays for each event

Who typically hosts each event: Welcome drinks or dinner, The couple or a family; Rehearsal dinner, Traditionally the groom's family; anyone can host; Wedding and reception, The couple and any contributing family; Farewell brunch, The couple, a family member or a friend; Optional activities, Hosted, or clearly marked as pay-your-own.

Keeping track of who's coming to what

With four or five events, you need to know who's attending each one: the rehearsal dinner venue needs one number, the welcome drinks another, the brunch a third. Ask guests to RSVP to each event separately, and put the full weekend schedule on your website. Forever Farrah handles RSVPs per event, meal choices and a seating chart for the dinner, which saves cross-checking several lists.

How long should the weekend be?

Three nights is common, but match it to the trip. If most guests fly a long way, they may stay a week and make a holiday of it, so a longer, looser schedule works. If it's a short hop, two nights may be plenty. Guests are paying their own way, so every extra night is a cost to them; see how much does a destination wedding cost.

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