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How to set a wedding RSVP deadline from your caterer's final-count date, what etiquette guides recommend, and how to word the reply-by date on invitations.
Set your RSVP deadline about ten days before your caterer needs final numbers. For most weddings that lands two to four weeks before the day. The Emily Post Institute suggests a reply-by date "usually two to three weeks before the wedding", which works when your caterer's deadline is close to the wedding, and needs moving earlier when it isn't.
The RSVP deadline exists for one reason: so you can give accurate numbers to the people who need them. The earliest of those is almost always the caterer, and some venues and rental companies want counts too. Ask each of them for their final-count date before you print a single invitation.
Too late and there is no time to chase non-responders before the caterer's deadline, so you either guess the numbers or pay for meals nobody eats.
When most guests travel, send invitations earlier (eight to twelve weeks ahead) so they can book, and expect your venue or hotel room block to set its own earlier deadlines. Your RSVP deadline should come before any of those, even if that is well over a month before the wedding.
Keep it plain and specific, with the weekday if there's room:
Some guests will miss it. That's expected, not rude. The step-by-step plan and the exact messages to send are in what to do when wedding guests don't RSVP.
Usually two to four weeks. Pick the exact date by counting back about ten days from when your caterer needs final numbers.
No, not if your caterer needs final numbers two to three weeks before the wedding. Much earlier than that, guests who can't commit yet tend to say no or not reply at all.
It helps. Guests often deal with post and admin at the weekend, and a named day ("Saturday, May 22") is easier to remember than a date on its own.
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