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Africa has countless wedding customs, not one. A country-by-country look at knocking, lobola, dowry, the Ethiopian melse and what guests should expect.
There is no single African wedding tradition. Africa is a continent of dozens of countries and a great many peoples, and wedding customs differ between neighbouring villages, let alone countries. What many share is the idea that marriage joins two families, not just two people, so it often starts with a formal family visit, involves gifts or bride wealth negotiated by elders, and is celebrated in more than one ceremony: a traditional or customary one, and often a church, mosque or civil wedding too.
Across very different cultures, a few patterns recur. The groom's family formally approaches the bride's. Elders or appointed spokespeople do the talking. Gifts pass from one family to the other, sometimes as a token and sometimes as a substantial, negotiated sum. And many couples then hold a second, religious or civil ceremony, which is why a guide to why some cultures have multiple wedding ceremonies is useful background here.
Among the Akan, marriage traditionally begins with the "knocking" ceremony, in which a small delegation from the man's family visits the bride's home with gifts such as palm wine or schnapps, as GhanaWeb describes. The families then move on to the engagement, where a list of gifts from the groom's side is presented. Other Ghanaian peoples have their own versions.
Nigeria alone is home to many peoples. Nigerian weddings commonly involve up to three ceremonies: traditional, church or mosque, and court, with elders meeting for introductions and the presentation of the bride price. Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa weddings differ in dress, food and ritual.
Kenya's Marriage Act 2014 recognises five forms of marriage, civil, Christian, Islamic, Hindu and customary, with equal status. According to Kenya Law's summary of the Act, where dowry is needed to prove a customary marriage, a token payment is enough, and customary marriages must be registered. The dowry negotiations themselves, and their names, differ between Kenya's many communities.
In South Africa and Zimbabwe, lobola (also called lobolo or bogadi) is practised among Zulu, Xhosa, Swazi, Ndebele, Sotho, Tswana and other peoples. It is bride wealth given by the groom's family to the bride's, traditionally counted in cattle. Today families often agree a value per cow and pay the equivalent in cash.
Ethiopia's weddings vary widely between its regions and religions. In a common Orthodox Christian pattern, the groom's elders first ask the bride's family for the union. According to Wikipedia's overview of Ethiopian wedding customs, crowns are part of the Orthodox ceremony, and the melse is a more relaxed celebration held the day after the wedding. Muslim, Oromo and other communities have their own traditions.
Map your events early. A traditional ceremony, a religious wedding and a reception can fall on different days, with different guest lists. Decide who is invited to what before you send anything. Our multicultural wedding guide has a framework.
No. Customs differ between countries, ethnic groups and religions. A Zulu, Akan and Amhara wedding have little in common beyond the idea that families, not just couples, are joined.
Lobola is bride wealth negotiated between families in many Southern African cultures, traditionally counted in cattle and today often paid in cash. It is a formal step in customary marriage.
It is the Akan custom in which the groom's family formally visits the bride's family, bringing drinks and gifts, to announce his intention to marry. It usually comes before the engagement ceremony.
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