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The parts of wedding dress shopping nobody warns you about, from made-to-order lead times and alteration fittings to sample sizes and confusing size charts.
The biggest surprise in wedding dress shopping is time. Many gowns are made to order after you choose them, then need several alteration fittings, so the dress you love in a shop is often months away from being wearable. You'll usually try on shop samples rather than your own size, and bridal size charts rarely match the numbers on your everyday clothes. Plan backwards from your wedding date, measure rather than guess, and budget for alterations from the start.
Most bridal boutiques keep one sample of each style to try on. When you order, the shop places an order with the designer, who makes the gown and ships it back. That's why the question to ask on your first visit isn't "how much?" but "when would it arrive if I ordered today?" Lead times vary a lot by designer, country of manufacture and season, so ask each shop for its own estimate, and ask for the promised delivery date in writing on your order.
Almost every dress needs some altering: a hem for your shoes, a bustle so the train lifts for dancing, straps, a taken-in bodice. Alterations usually mean more than one fitting, spaced out so the seamstress can work between visits.
Because shops stock one sample per style, you'll often try on a dress in a size that doesn't match yours. A consultant may clip a larger sample at the back, or leave a smaller one unzipped and cover the gap. This is normal, and it says nothing about how the finished dress will fit. It does mean you need a little imagination, and it helps to ask how the style changes in other sizes, especially the fabric weight and neckline.
Bridal size numbers follow each designer's own chart, which is often different from the sizes on your everyday clothes. Don't order by the number you normally buy. The shop should take your bust, waist and hip measurements and order the size that fits your largest measurement, then take the rest in during alterations. Taking a dress in is far easier than letting it out, because there's only so much spare fabric in a seam.
A dress shopping sequence to adapt: Research, Look at styles, set a budget, shortlist shops, Include alterations in the budget; Appointments, Try on samples, usually by appointment, Ask each shop for its lead time; Order, Deposit paid, measurements taken, Get the delivery date in writing; Arrival, Dress arrives at the shop, Check it against the order; Fittings, Usually several, spaced out, Bring your shoes every time; Collection, Pressed and ready to take home, Know who is storing it.
A smaller group makes appointments easier. Every extra person brings an extra opinion, and a dress everyone else loves can drown out the one you do. Some people take one trusted person to a first appointment and bring more once they've narrowed it down. If your bridesmaids are coming, see nobody tells you this about being a bridesmaid for what they're often juggling too.
Bridal orders are often non-refundable once the designer has started the gown. Before you pay a deposit, read what happens if the dress arrives late, arrives damaged, or you change your mind, and what the shop's policy is on altering dresses it didn't sell you. Your rights as a buyer depend on where you live, so if something goes wrong, your local consumer protection office is the place to ask.
Nobody tells you that shopping can go on forever if you let it. Once you've found a dress that fits your budget, your venue and how you want to feel, it's fine to stop looking. Unsubscribing from bridal mailing lists after you order helps.
Early enough to cover the designer's lead time plus several alteration fittings, with some slack. Ask shops for their current lead times before you set a deadline, because they vary by designer and season.
Shops usually keep one sample per style for trying on. Consultants clip or pin samples to give you an idea of the shape, and your own dress is ordered to your measurements.
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