How to combine Chinese and Western wedding traditions

How couples blend Chinese and Western wedding traditions: tea ceremony and vows, red qipao and white gown, lucky dates, banquet menus, red envelopes and seating.

The short answer

Most couples combine Chinese and Western wedding traditions by holding a Western-style ceremony with vows and rings, a Chinese tea ceremony for family, and a reception that mixes a multi-course Chinese banquet with toasts, a first dance and a cake. Many brides wear a white gown for the ceremony and a red qipao or qun gua for the tea ceremony or banquet. Choose a lucky date if it matters to your family, use red and gold, and welcome red envelopes as gifts.

What each tradition brings

Chinese and Western wedding elements side by side: Colour, Red for happiness and luck, White bridal gown; Key ritual, Tea ceremony honouring elders, Exchange of vows and rings; Date, Chosen for luck, often with an almanac, Chosen for season and venue; Meal, Multi-course banquet at round tables, Plated dinner or buffet; Gifts, Red envelopes with money, Registry or cards; Decor, Double happiness character, Flowers, candles.

The ceremony and the tea ceremony

The simplest blend is to keep them separate:

Choosing a date

Many Chinese families consult the almanac or a fortune teller for a lucky date. The South China Morning Post reports that the third, seventh and ninth lunar months are widely considered unlucky. If your family cares about this, get a list of good dates before you book a venue, and let the venue know you have limited flexibility.

Outfits

Many brides wear more than one outfit: a white gown for the ceremony, a red qipao or embroidered qun gua for the tea ceremony, and sometimes an evening dress for the banquet. Grooms may wear a suit and change into a traditional jacket for the tea ceremony. Chinese bridal clothing and why couples have multiple wedding outfits cover the options.

The banquet

The evening banquet is often the heart of a Chinese wedding; the Chinese marriage entry notes it was sometimes considered more important than the ceremony itself. It's typically a long multi-course meal at round tables, with dishes chosen for their symbolism, such as a whole fish for abundance and noodles for long life. Chinese wedding banquet traditions goes course by course.

Seating

Chinese banquets traditionally seat guests at round tables of about ten, with the most honoured guests nearest the couple. Families often have strong views on who sits where, so plan the seating chart together. Wedding seating chart etiquette and where parents sit at a wedding reception help, and the calculator below works out how many tables you need.

Gifts and red envelopes

Red envelopes (hongbao in Mandarin, lai see in Cantonese) containing money are a common Chinese wedding gift. Many couples keep a registry for guests who prefer one, and set out a secure box for envelopes at the reception. Assign someone you trust to collect and record them.

Explaining the customs

A program or wedding website page that explains the tea ceremony, the red envelopes and the banquet toasts helps guests feel included. How to explain cultural traditions to wedding guests has wording. Forever Farrah can manage the guest list, RSVPs, meal choices and a table-by-table seating chart, which suits a banquet of round tables.

Do you need a tea ceremony at a Chinese-Western wedding?

No, but many families consider it the most important part. Some couples hold it privately with close family and skip it at the main event.

Can a Chinese bride wear white?

Yes. Many Chinese brides wear a white gown for the ceremony and change into red for the tea ceremony or banquet.

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