Loading Forever Farrah…
Wedding invitation etiquette explained, including how to address envelopes, show exactly who is invited, when to mail them, and how to handle plus-ones and children.
Wedding invitation etiquette comes down to four things: address each invitation to exactly the people invited, by name; mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding (longer if guests travel); invite everyone at the same time rather than in waves; and keep gifts off the invitation. Spouses, fiancé(e)s and live-in partners are always invited together, while plus-ones for single guests and invitations for children are your choice, made as a rule for everyone.
Wedding invitation etiquette quick reference: When to mail, 6–8 weeks before; 8–12 weeks if most guests travel; Who's invited, Only the people named on the envelope; Couples, Married, engaged and live-in partners are invited together; Plus-ones for single guests, Optional, and kind for wedding party members; Children, Invited only if named; Registry details, Not on the invitation; Invitations in waves, Avoid; invite everyone at once; Addressing, By hand, full names, words spelled out.
The Emily Post Institute's planning checklist says to mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, with save-the-dates three to six months out, or earlier. We suggest eight to twelve weeks for invitations when most guests travel. Work out your dates here:
The names on the envelope are the invitation. Nothing on the card itself should need to say "adults only" or "one guest", because the names already do. The Emily Post Institute's addressing guide sets out the formal rules:
The Emily Post Institute says partners of invited guests should be included whether they are married, engaged or living together, while a plus-one for an unattached guest is "a thoughtful gesture but not required". It's kind to offer one to single members of the wedding party.
Decide on children as a category (all, family only, or none) and apply it to everyone. The Emily Post Institute suggests telling parents early, even before invitations arrive, if children aren't included, so they can arrange childcare. If a family replies with children anyway, call them promptly and kindly. See child-free wedding etiquette.
A standby or "B" list, invited as declines arrive, is the most common way invitations hurt people. The Emily Post Institute advises inviting the whole list at the same time. If you're worried about numbers, cut the list before mailing: how to cut your wedding guest list.
The invitation, worded for your hosts (how to word wedding invitations). A reply card with a date, or a line pointing to online RSVP. A details card for out-of-town guests: directions, hotels, other events. The Institute lists maps and hotel details as inserts worth including. Not a registry card. Put registry details on your wedding website.
If you have a welcome dinner, a religious ceremony and a reception, not every guest has to be invited to all of them. Make each invitation clear about which events it covers, with a separate card or clearly labelled details. A guest list tool that tracks invitations per event helps here: Forever Farrah lets you tick which events each guest is invited to and collects RSVPs for just those events. For the background on multi-event weddings, see why some cultures have multiple wedding ceremonies.
Guests are expected to reply promptly, and the Emily Post Institute's invitations guide calls a prompt reply a guest's first duty. When they don't, a short, friendly call is proper, not pushy. What to do when wedding guests don't RSVP has the scripts.
Six to eight weeks before the wedding, according to the Emily Post Institute's planning checklist. We suggest eight to twelve weeks when most guests have to travel.
Loading Forever Farrah…