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By Forever Farrah Published 2026-09-17.
Wedding invitation etiquette explained, including how to address envelopes, show exactly who is invited, when to mail them, and how to handle plus-ones and children.
Wedding invitation etiquette comes down to four things: address each invitation to exactly the people invited, by name; mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding (longer if guests travel); invite everyone at the same time rather than in waves; and keep gifts off the invitation. Spouses, fiancé(e)s and live-in partners are always invited together, while plus-ones for single guests and invitations for children are your choice, made as a rule for everyone.
| Question | Etiquette answer |
|---|---|
| When to mail | 6–8 weeks before; 8–12 weeks if most guests travel |
| Who's invited | Only the people named on the envelope |
| Couples | Married, engaged and live-in partners are invited together |
| Plus-ones for single guests | Optional, and kind for wedding party members |
| Children | Invited only if named |
| Registry details | Not on the invitation |
| Invitations in waves | Avoid; invite everyone at once |
| Addressing | By hand, full names, words spelled out |
The Emily Post Institute's planning checklist says to mail invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, with save-the-dates three to six months out, or earlier. We suggest eight to twelve weeks for invitations when most guests travel. Work out your dates here:
When to send save-the-dates, invitations and RSVP reminders
Our full guide to when to send save-the-dates and invitations covers destination weddings and what to do if you're behind, and when should wedding RSVPs be due helps set the reply date.
The names on the envelope are the invitation. Nothing on the card itself should need to say "adults only" or "one guest", because the names already do. The Emily Post Institute's addressing guide sets out the formal rules:
If you use two envelopes, the inner one names exactly who is invited, often with titles and surnames only ("Mr. and Mrs. Darling", then "Sarah" and "Jonathan" underneath). Single-envelope invitations put every invited name on the outer envelope. Etiquette is about being clear and gracious, so many couples now print envelopes for casual weddings; the formal rule is still handwriting.
The Emily Post Institute says partners of invited guests should be included whether they are married, engaged or living together, while a plus-one for an unattached guest is "a thoughtful gesture but not required". It's kind to offer one to single members of the wedding party.
Where you can, name the partner instead of writing "and guest". The Institute recommends using names as warmer and more welcoming. If a guest writes an extra name on the reply, call them rather than let it slide. Wedding plus-one etiquette has the full set of rules and scripts.
Decide on children as a category (all, family only, or none) and apply it to everyone. The Emily Post Institute suggests telling parents early, even before invitations arrive, if children aren't included, so they can arrange childcare. If a family replies with children anyway, call them promptly and kindly. See child-free wedding etiquette.
A standby or "B" list, invited as declines arrive, is the most common way invitations hurt people. The Emily Post Institute advises inviting the whole list at the same time. If you're worried about numbers, cut the list before mailing: how to cut your wedding guest list.
A related rule: anyone invited to a wedding shower, engagement party or other pre-wedding event must also be invited to the wedding, with office showers the exception.
Before stamping a whole batch, take one fully assembled invitation to the post office to be weighed. The addressing guide recommends this because inserts and unusual shapes can need extra postage.
If you have a welcome dinner, a religious ceremony and a reception, not every guest has to be invited to all of them. Make each invitation clear about which events it covers, with a separate card or clearly labelled details. A guest list tool that tracks invitations per event helps here: Forever Farrah lets you tick which events each guest is invited to and collects RSVPs for just those events. For the background on multi-event weddings, see why some cultures have multiple wedding ceremonies.
Guests are expected to reply promptly, and the Emily Post Institute's invitations guide calls a prompt reply a guest's first duty. When they don't, a short, friendly call is proper, not pushy. What to do when wedding guests don't RSVP has the scripts.
Six to eight weeks before the wedding, according to the Emily Post Institute's planning checklist. We suggest eight to twelve weeks when most guests have to travel.
By the names on the envelope. Only the people named are invited. If someone adds a guest on their reply, call them politely to explain.
The envelope's names already say it. Many couples also add a gentle line on the wedding website, and tell parents early so they can plan.
Yes. Invite them clearly to the parts they're welcome at. Avoid asking anyone to the ceremony only and not the reception without a good reason, as it can feel like a second-class invitation.
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