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Engraved cards, red double-happiness invitations, Ganesha cards, word of mouth and open invitations. How wedding guests are invited in different cultures.
In much of the world, wedding guests are invited with a printed card, but the card's look, timing and meaning change from culture to culture. Western etiquette favours a formal card mailed six to eight weeks ahead. Chinese invitations are red and carry the double-happiness character, and many Hindu invitations show Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. Some events aren't invited at all in the usual sense: a German Polterabend is announced by word of mouth, and anyone who hears can come.
How guests are invited, by culture: US and UK, Printed card, mailed, Formal wording names the hosts; sent six to eight weeks ahead; Chinese, Red printed card, Double-happiness character; red for luck; Indian (Hindu), Printed card, often ornate, Images of Ganesha and other auspicious symbols; Indian (Christian and Muslim), Printed card, Crosses or churches; the crescent, Bismillah or 786; German Polterabend, Word of mouth, Open to anyone who hears about it; Historic England, Town crier, later handwritten notices, Invitations were announced aloud before printing spread.
The printed invitation has a long history. The Wikipedia article on wedding invitations traces it from town criers announcing weddings in medieval England, to handwritten notices by calligraphers, to engraved and then lithographed cards. Tissue paper and double envelopes are leftovers from that era.
Chinese wedding invitations are usually red, the colour of luck and celebration, and often feature the double-happiness character), two copies of the character for joy joined together. Invitations come after the betrothal steps described in traditional Chinese marriage, which set the wedding date first. See Chinese wedding traditions.
Indian wedding invitations, called kankotri or lagna patrika in some languages, are often elaborate. Hindu cards commonly show Ganesha, believed to remove obstacles, along with symbols such as the kalasha and Om. Christian cards may show crosses and churches, and Muslim cards the crescent, Bismillah or the number 786. Because Indian weddings often run over several days, one invitation may list several events, and some families invite certain guests to only some of them. See Indian wedding traditions.
Not every wedding event has a guest list. Polterabend, the German pre-wedding party, is traditionally announced rather than invited: the couple spread the word and anyone who wants to come can. It's a reminder that "invited" can mean very different things; for events like this, expect numbers you can't fully control. See what happens before a wedding ceremony around the world.
Even where printed cards are the norm, many families invite the most important guests personally as well: a phone call to grandparents, a visit to an elderly relative, or handing a card over in person rather than posting it. There's no single rule, and it varies by family and region, but it's a common courtesy for people who will have a role in the wedding. If your families expect it, build time for it into your schedule, because personal visits take far longer than a mail-out.
Save-the-dates are a Western habit that has spread widely, especially for destination weddings and weddings in busy seasons. They tell guests the date and place before the formal invitation. Digital invitations and wedding websites are now common alongside, or instead of, printed cards. They're quicker and cheaper, and they make RSVPs easier to track, but check whether your families will see them as formal enough.
Across cultures, the envelope matters as much as the card. In Western etiquette, the names on it show exactly who is invited, including whether children or a guest are. Emily Post's guide to addressing invitations covers the details, and our guides to plus-one etiquette and child-free weddings cover the awkward cases.
When a wedding has several events (a henna night, a ceremony, a reception), be explicit about which ones each guest is invited to. Print separate insert cards, or list events per guest on your wedding website. Forever Farrah lets you tick which events each guest is invited to and collects RSVPs for each event separately. For the basics, see wedding invitation etiquette and what to do when wedding guests don't RSVP.
In Western etiquette, six to eight weeks before the wedding, according to Emily Post, with save-the-dates earlier for destination weddings or busy seasons.
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