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Who traditionally hosts the wedding reception in Western, Chinese, Japanese, Nigerian, Mexican, Jewish and Indian weddings, and how that is changing today.
Traditionally, the bride's family hosted the wedding reception in much of Europe and North America, but that's far from universal, and it's changing. In traditional Chinese weddings the bride's father held the main banquet while the groom's family held a second one. Nigerian weddings are often run by a professional host who speaks for both families. Mexican and Filipino weddings share hosting with godparent sponsors, and Japanese guests' cash gifts help cover the cost. Today, many couples host their own reception.
Traditional reception hosts by culture: US and UK (traditional), Bride's parents, Named on the invitation, greet guests first; US and UK (today), Often the couple, or both families, The same, shared or taken on by the couple; Traditional Chinese, Bride's father for the main banquet; groom's family for a second, A multi-course banquet; Yoruba (Nigeria), Both families, with an alaga running the event, The alaga leads the programme and greetings; Mexican, Couple and families, with padrinos sponsoring parts, Sponsors cover particular items or rites; Japanese, Couple and families, Guests give cash gifts; the couple give return gifts; Jewish, Families or the couple, The meal is a religious obligation, not only a party.
In Western etiquette, the host is whoever issues the invitation and greets guests. Emily Post says the bride's parents traditionally host, but the groom's parents, both sets of parents, or the couple themselves are all common today. The host's names go at the top of a formal invitation, and the host usually stands first in the receiving line.
The wedding reception was historically held by the bride's family at their home. Many modern couples now host and pay for their own receptions instead. When parents still host, it's worth agreeing early who makes which decisions; see what if your parents are paying for the wedding and how to handle family expectations.
In traditional Chinese marriage, the bride's father usually hosted the main banquet and the groom's family held a smaller one. Banquets ran to several courses, with dishes chosen for luck. Many modern couples hold a single banquet together. For the rituals that sit alongside it, see Chinese wedding traditions.
At a Yoruba traditional wedding, both families take part, and an alaga (a professional host and praise singer) leads the proceedings: the greetings, the gift exchange and the entrances. The celebration often continues into an owambe party. See Nigerian wedding traditions.
In Mexican Catholic weddings, padrinos and madrinas (godparent sponsors) each take on a part of the ceremony, such as the lazo or the arras coins, and often help pay for parts of the celebration. Filipino weddings have a similar system of cord, veil and coin sponsors. Couples choose them, and it's an honour to be asked.
At a Japanese wedding, guests give cash in a decorated envelope called a shūgi-bukuro, which helps cover the reception. The couple give return gifts. See Japanese wedding etiquette for guests.
The Jewish wedding meal, the seudat mitzvah, is a religious obligation, and a joyful reception is itself a mitzvah. Who hosts follows the family's customs, from parents to the couple themselves.
Two families from different traditions can each expect to be the host. One side may assume the bride's parents lead; the other may expect a banquet of its own, or a sponsor system. There's no single right answer, but a few approaches work well:
Hosting is more than a name on a card. On the day, a host traditionally greets guests as they arrive, makes sure elders and out-of-town guests are looked after, thanks people as they leave, and handles any problems so the couple don't have to. If the couple host their own reception, it helps to name one or two relatives or friends to do these jobs, so someone is always free to find a missing guest, a spare chair or the photographer.
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